played a show in charlotte where the soundguy was this road-hardened british guy named Blue. my Dad came out to the show with a woman he may or may not be dating. she seemed very nice and i guess i'm too old to go through that "you ain't my mother!" kind of fit, but geez, it was weird. he claimed she was just a friend and not a lady-friend but...who knows. i just want him to be happy.

played a wedding in a durham museum. sound ricocheted like you would not believe--we had to play what could best be described as an acoustic version of Don't Stop Believing and basically back a foot away from all of our mics so the sound wasn't overwhelming. security was ridiculous--had to wear badges and everything. at the end of the night, one of the guards, this chunky close-cropped lady, was standing by the door as the wedding guests filed back in after sending off the couple. instead of telling everyone calmly that the museum would be closing, she just stood there with her arms up in a V shouting, "Goodnight! Goodnight!!" ...i couldn't stop laughing. it was like Patton Oswalt had wandered in and was yelling the punchline of a joke.

also one of the good-looking photographers turned out to be Brian of Defending Brooklyn (guess which NY borough he currently and ironically lives in? just guess) a band that played the 828 house, and was one of the dudes that moved into the house after Chris, Joseph and Sock moved out. i asked if he could see anything in the woods behind the house and he was like, "um, yeah, there was a refrigerator back there..." ...yeah dude, and a guillotine, and a futon, and a keg, and half a dozen computer monitors....

staying at the beach right now with the family minus Natalie (sick with the flu...whether it's of the porky variety i'm not sure) and my Dad. Chris is still funemployed so he made it down too. we had a pre-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving dinner tonight with wild turkey (the boid, not the drank) and wild pheasant shot by my eighty-year-old Poppy. delicious.

just watched Let The Right One In. phenomenal. go watch it right now.

okay, my sibs just said they saw a shooting star outside. walk on the beach anyone?

Dear Middle School Risa,




It's going to be alright. Calm down and stop being so melodramatic. Your life is not that bad.

The future? Well...you won't get any less awkward but you'll get more confident about how awkward you are.

Love,

Adult Risa


I so adore this picture. I don't care if it's vain or narcissistic. It makes me happy. Photo Credit: JD Whitmire (the dude that did our album photoshoot and takes our pictures at shows). 

Life is good. Today Chris and I had a roommate hang-out kind of day. We got a nice lunch together, went shopping, and bought some pumpkins. I carved Bert and Ernie pumpkins tonight and had dinner with my seesters and their boyfriends. I love this time of year and wish I was a little less busy so I had a little more time for writing and walking around and such. 

I just saw the extended promo for the movie and I was blown away. Just sat and watched it in stunned silence. It's like someone put a tiny video camera in my ear and video taped one of my dreams. I actually had a dream a year or so ago with a creature that looked exactly like one of the Wild Things. It was this creature the size of a small elephant, covered in shaggy fur, with this big furry head and a gentle, intelligent demeanor. It had a name that was something like "Romula." I am so excited about seeing this movie. Anyone want to go see it?

I love Fall. Have I said that before? Let me say it again. I love Fall. I love that for a few weeks, everything has pumpkins in it. I love hoodies, and scarves, and not having to suffer through 100% humidity, and breaking out my comforter, and wearing slippers around the house, and Gary cuddling up to me for warmth, and how much better coffee tastes when it's cold out.

Magic Monday at the Raleigh Times tonight! I'm pretty stoked about seeing the show again. Then tomorrow, after spending the first part of the day doing band stuff and writing and practicing piano, we're going to go to Trivia at the Flying Saucer (Go! Team! Venture!) and then a Wizard Staff party at my place. I got to hang with Kev for a bit yesterday, and I'm stoked about partying with him again. I already know my Wizard Staff is going to be four or five beers strong, tops (lightweight for life), but it's still going to be hella fun. Also I'll have to get up and work the next day, so we're going to see how doing that at 25 differs from doing that at 18. It'll be a fun (read: miserable) social experiment!!

I've learned a pretty important lesson this year. I used to think, at several different times during my adolescence and early adulthood, especially when I was really in pain: "Alright, I know that emotional turmoil is supposed to be refining, and character building, but seriously, I think whatever lessons I was supposed to learn, I already have." I had a total, "Why not me? When will it be my turn?" outlook. I used to think that falling in love was the prize at the end of all that hardship, and that when that happened, then I would be happy. But in the last year or so, I've finally come to understand what is meant by the saying, "You find love when you stop looking for it." How could I not look for it? How could I not want to fall in love with someone? But now I think I get it. Because the truth is, I've been really happy for awhile--not happy because of anything in particular, or happy in a brief window of time kind of way, but more or less really happy with my life.

My Aunt Gwen, who has been married three times (the last of which was to an amazing man whom we all adore--third time's a charm) once told me: "You shouldn't look for someone else to complete you. Become a complete person on your own, and that's when you're ready to share your life with someone else." I'm paraphrasing, but that's the gist of it. And it's taken me a long time to really get that. The truth is, I think falling in love would be a beautiful thing, if it ever happened to me, but that part of me that waited for it like a damsel in distress got sick of sitting in a tower, got up, and kicked the dragon's ass on her own. I don't know if it's late in the game to realize that you're a whole person on the eve of your 26th birthday, but I always was a late bloomer, so that just makes sense. 

One of my best friends from middle and high school, Christian Thomas, was involved in a shoot-out on Sunday. It's been all over the Charlotte news. No one knows why, but apparently very early Sunday morning his father shot his mother, then Chris, then his brother Alan, and then turned the gun on himself. His mother and father were killed, and Chris and Alan are in the hospital. Chris was shot in the chest, Alan in the stomach. They just went from critical to serious condition yesterday. I went home to see him but they were both under heavy sedation, so I'm going to try and go home again on Sunday if either one of them has woken up.

I can't imagine the physical and emotional turmoil that they will have to go through in the next couple of weeks, and for the rest of their lives. I knew his parents, too--they went to our church. I really grew up with Chris, and I was too scared of his really intense and controlling mom to pay much attention to his dad, but everyone who knew him is just stunned. There was no history of violence, no substance abuse, no diagnosed medical or psychiatric problems. It's just so terrible. All I can do is just keep Chris and Alan in my prayers and try to be there for them when they're awake. Apparently there's just been a constant flow of friends and family through the ICU ward, so I'm glad of that.

Alright, let's change the tone, because that is a tragedy but there's also a lot in my life to celebrate.

First off--Lauren and Brendan are getting married today! I'm not able to go--duty calls, once again--but I wish them the best. I'm going to call Chris later and if he's not tossed by 9pm then we're not friends anymore. Uh, actually, strike that, he made a pumpkin cheese cake the other day that almost made me fall over with joy, so, let's revise that to: I'm in friend love with Chris fo evah.

Kat and I saw Robin Williams on Wednesday! It was effing hilarious. I told both of my parents, separately, that I was going, and they each said the exact same thing. "You know your mother/father and I saw him in San Francisco in the early 80s. He was coked out of his MIND." He's sober now, and he actually talks about it a lot, even quoting a few AA sayings I've heard from my Mom. He did this impression of Christopher Walken in a porno, and then one of Walter Cronkite telling a dirty joke. Just perfect. Over an hour and a half of pure hilarity. Well worth the ticket price. It really makes me want to see the other comedians I'm crazy about: Patton Oswalt, Louis CK, Daniel Tosh, Zach Galifianakis...man, if they come to Raleigh, I'm all over that.

Also--so you know how I was excited about Enda Bannon (I never get tired of saying his full name) visiting next Summer? Well, he told me last week that he'd wanted it to be a surprise, but he thought it would be better if we planned something--he's visiting me for my birthday. In just over a month, for two whole weeks. What started out as a, "Well, this awesome dude that I had an Amsterdam fling with four summers ago is going to visit, and it'll be cool hanging out with him and giving him a place to crash so he can see the States" kind of situation, has become something of an anticipated romance. The more I talk to him the more thrilled I am that I'm going to get to see him so soon. He's in London right now for a few days before the next "leg" of his adventure, as he would say it, to Australia. I know it's a bad idea to get romantically interested in someone that will, in a few days, be living literally as far across the world as you can get, but...well, bad ideas are sometimes the most fun.

While he's here we're going to take a train to New York City for a few days, because he's always wanted to see the city. There's also a good chance I'll be able to take him to a Carolina Panthers game. He'll also be coming on the road with the band for most of our shows. I already know the band is going to adore him. My mom met him briefly on Skype the other day, and she told him she loved his Oirish accent. He promised to serenade her. If it feels like I'm gushing about the guy, then it's probably because I am. He sent me three texts yesterday about how excited he was to begin his world-wide excursion that will eventually lead to me, each of which had me blushing like mad. Even if nothing more comes of this than a fun two weeks together, I'll be happy.

The band played Greenville, SC last night with Sun Domingo (and another band that kind of pissed us off, so I won't name them here). Our band seriously has a band-crush on Sun Domingo. They're these three really good-looking funny guys who have the same level of professionalism and drive that we do, and we all just have so much fun playing together. There are talks of us touring with them someday, and I know I speak for every member of the Design when I say we would all be thrilled. Check out their stuff if you haven't heard of them, it's like a more poppy version of the Police. SO much fun.

I'm getting so close to finishing my book, I'm almost starting to feel vertigo. It's going to be like: Alright, you've finished, now you have to go through the landfill of the 1600 pages you just spent two and a half years compiling to find the substance that's going to compose the final novel. Good luck!! I kind of want to throw a parade in excitement that I've gotten this far. When I was growing up, the longest story I ever wrote was 100 pages, then I hit a wall, and I abandoned it. I was terrified that was going to happen to this story, but I just kept climbing over the walls. Not with complete success--in a lot of places the dialogue is hokey, the events are unlikely, the wording is awkward--but I didn't stop, and now I'm almost to the end. Thank goodness.

I want to see the VH1's Behind The Music for our band. Especially the parts that deal with substance abuse.

Voiceover: Risa's battle with caffeine addiction spiraled out of control and shook the band to its very core.

Me: I was up to one, two glasses of coke a night...I'd tell myself, I won't drink any tonight, I already had that coffee in the morning ...but then we'd get halfway through the set and I'd get really tired and I'd just...give in

Paul: Yeah...it got bad a few nights...she'd have a couple sodas and then try to drive, and....man, no one said anything...

Kat: There was one night that she got her hands on a Red Bull and....[voice breaking] I don't want to talk about it. I just can't.


I am down to one consistent vice and it's the lamest one possible.

We played downtown Charleston on Wednesday to not that many people, and it was an okay show, until the last twenty minutes of the night when these two dudes who introduced themselves as "Fig" and "Jackson" showed up and rocked the joint. It was Fig's 21st birthday, and he and Jackson danced like crazy people the entire time they were there. They were toooo adorable. And to make it even better, Fig was wearing a Boone Mellow Mushroom shirt, and Jackson was wearing Charlie's black horse T-shirt from It's Always Sunny. Instalove. Between songs, I got on the mike and just went, "Dayman, aaaAAAAaaaa, fighter of the Nightman, aaaAAAAaaaa!!!" Both of the dudes whipped around and started singing with me and kept on singing the song throughout the rest of the show. It was amazing. Fig and Jackson were a tid bit too young for my taste but they were tons of fun.

American Aquarium is playing downtown tonight and I'm stoked as hell about going. I miss McClain when he's on the road and I'm so excited about seeing them play live.

Team Venture (or to use our name from last week's Sex Trivia, the Taintstains) has won first place three out of the last four weeks at the Flying Saucer, and one of those weeks we took third.  This after months and months of not even placing. The key to our success seems to be Thrasher....with me, her, Chris and Joseph we're some kind of dream team. Everytime we get first we get $50 towards the next trivia, too, so that's just a hell of a lot of fun!!

We renewed our rent at Joyner and got an unexpected bonus--we just have to pay half of October's rent!! Free money!! I've actually been doing really well with money lately, but I'm trying to still be frugal, because there will be a lot of changes next year for the band, a lot of leaving our comfort zone, but if it goes anything like our most recent Atlanta show, it should be good. But still...I'm going to save up. I'm also trying to think about visiting Cassandra in Madrid, but the big problem is there are no big breaks for us, no stretches of more than four days off, and I'd want at least a week to travel to Europe...but who knows, the future is uncertain. We'll see.

I've been talking to Enda a lot about his visit in the Spring/Summer of 2010. The more I think about it the more I get really excited about seeing him. The dude is more charming than a Tom Robbins character.

In a recent Skype conversation:

Me: You are TOO MUCH Mr. Bannon
Enda: You are just right Ms. Patterson

...I know, cheesy, right? But whatever, it's my Transatlantic flirtation, not yours.

Kat and I bought tickets to see Robin Williams when he performs in Durham next month!! I am so excited!!

Hey there LJ. S'been awhile.

Due to excesses of baby mama drama (and what may or may not be a raging Borderline Personality Disorder), I can't even hang out with Ryan anymore, which blows. He gave me a Farfisa vintage organ that he recovered from a friend's house he was cleaning out, and since it was broken and I really had no use for it fixed, I sold it on craigslist to a dude that repaired vintage keys as a hobby. Free money, $160! So I decided to give Ryan the cash since it was his find. He insisted on giving me some of it, and I told him, take me out to dinner and a movie and we'll call it even.

So the entire night, we were terrorized via text and phone calls by his ex. When we were at dinner, she was trolling his house. When she didn't find us there, she texted him, "See you at the movies." Who actually in real life does stuff like that? I had to park my car behind the theater in a hidden lot because it was full of band equipment and I didn't want her keying it or something. The entire movie, we were on the edges of our respective seats, waiting for her to show up and accost us. Back at his place, we were hanging out with his roommate and she called and said she was going to come over and confront us, and would only not do so if Ryan slept on her couch.

Keep in mind that every time she got in her car to stalk him, including the last time at almost 3am, she had to put their 2-year-old child in the car. And that Ryan and I were just hanging out. And that she threatens to move to New Orleans every time she gets angry at him. So...long story short, I'm removing myself completely from that Hot Mess Express for awhile. Just...yikes. I'm not afraid of actually being confronted by the girl, but it sucks having to worry about her messing with my car. It sucks worse for Ryan, who is a great guy and a good dad and...well, it's the whole No Good Deed Goes Unpunished thing. Man, dudes, don't ever knock up a crazy girl. Just don't.

Oh, also, just as an added bonus: the girl knows nothing about me other than these facts: Ryan told her once I'm out of town a lot for work, she saw my car (with stickers on it and an Oscar Meyer Wienermobile toy inside), and she has seen my face once. So, she Nancy Drews this little scenario together to insult me to Ryan: "So, she's what, 17 years old, and she...she drives the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile!? You're going out with the 17-year-old-Wienermobile girl!?" ...What kind of an insult is that? That's awesome. I wish that was true. Man, lady...work on your crazy brain and your insults.

Seriously though, I really hope everything works out with that, and Ryan can work with her on raising their daughter properly. I think they could make it work.

Anyway. Other than that little incident, life has been very busy. Big changes are on the horizon for the band. Next year is going to be very different from this last one, and I'm very excited about it. The story trudges ever forward, towards an ending that looks more solid the closer I get. Thank goodness.

I'm more excited about the return of good TV than is probably sane. The Office, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Fringe, then House next week ... oh hells yes. Also we took 3rd place in late night trivia last week at the Flying Saucer. I will never get tired of yelling "Go Team Venture!" when they call our name.

I'm going to hang out with Jeremy (the Comedian) on Sunday and I'm excited about catching up with him. He's got a great website that you should definitely check out: it's called Name Your Tale. People send in story titles and then Jeremy and a few other admins write 100-word stories (exactly) based on those titles. The stories are really creative and interesting and I've enjoyed reading through them.

For some reason my facebook profile isn't coming up. I'm calling and complaining if it's not up by tomorrow. I have important pictures of me hanging out with people impersonating other people that I can't afford to lose.

I can't figure out if I'm a hypochondriac or a rightfully concerned individual. I bruise easily, especially on my legs, so I think I'm probably anemic, and there's a large, barely visible coloration on my cheek, like a very light freckle the size of a thumbprint, and I don't think it's been there for too long, so I think I probably have skin cancer. I feel very healthy. And I'm too cheap to go to a dermatologist and find out a) the worst, or b) I'm paranoid but otherwise completely healthy. I hate being worried, though, so I may go find out something from someone. Or just be bruisy and freckly.

We had three great shows this week with one more to go tomorrow, a wedding in Raleigh. I'm more excited about a day off on Monday than should be legally possible. I plan to write as much as I can and ...oh, I don't know, eat ice cream. Oh, yeah, and I just bought the "Werewolf" MST3K, my all-time favorite movie they do, so I'll probably watch that a half a dozen times. I'll probably go into the practice space and record some vocals and keyboard tracks, too. I think it's in my genetics to make myself busier on my days off.

Don't worry about the medical worries, by the way, or me for worrying about them. Worst case scenario is my life is reduced to a cautionary tale, is all, and I'll write that myself, and get posthumously rich off the book rights. Score.

Chris, with relish: "Sunday."

Me: "Sunday?"

Chris: "Sunday."

Me: "What happens Sunday?"

Chris, throwing himself on the couch, goofily happy: "Sunday I'm going to lay around naked aaaaall day, and watch movies. I figure I can get in a good six movies."

Me, after two or three beats: "BAHAHAHAHA I LOVE YOU."

He's been seeing the neighbor girl for a few weeks now. Happy days!!

Also I've been busy as balls between the band and part-timing it at Capital Promotions, plus a few independent art jobs, and the writing has taken a backseat to all that stuff. Hoping to catch up on it...oh, sometime. I know the book's gonna get finished. Just maybe longer now that I'm so busy. I think about it all the time.

Home-made bread baking in the oven right now. It for real makes the entire apartment smell amazing. I should make it more often.

My Dad visited Raleigh today and saw my apartment for the first time. He never even saw the in-between one, the one between the hobbit-hole North Raleigh basement apartment and this one, so I was really glad to show him this one. I cleaned it and made it look all shiny and nice, and I just walked around today, after getting 10 or 11 hours of sleep, and felt amazing, just walking around, thinking, hooray, I live here!! Such a pretty place!

Also, nice new haircut! No more mullet!

Kat's birthday is tomorrow (the big 2-6, duh duh duhhhh) and we're partyin it up over at her place. Huzzah!!

I'll go through stages, in Relationship World, where I feel like I make really good decisions. I'll feel really good about how I handled touchy situations, I'll deal well with breakups, I'll feel as if I've really hit my stride as an adult in the dating world. And then there are other days where I'll feel as if I've behaved as a total moron, and wonder if I ever learned anything at all.

I'm taking a break with things with the Comedian, after I gave him some pretty strong signals that there wasn't anything break-ish on the horizon. It boils down mostly to that I just got out of a relationship with Ryan, and even though things were going really well with the Comedian, I just kept feeling like I wasn't ready. I think I need more of a relationship buffer than just a few weeks. He took the completely-out-of-the-blue news from me really well, because he's a great guy, which made me feel like even more of a mook. I'm not sure what the future holds with all of that, but I'm definitely going to give myself plenty of time, this time, to make sure what I want.

Cassandra's early-bird birthday party was so much fun. Apples to Apples, Catchphrase, all the key parts of a great party. We fiiinally got to see Prince Caspian after nearly two years of waiting to watch it with each other. And the new Patton Oswalt was so fucking funny. That's the last time I'll see Cassandra before she leaves for Madrid on Friday. I can't believe how quickly her two month visit went by.  I'm going to really miss hanging out with her and hearing her laugh in person. If finances allow, I'm going to try and visit her at some point before she returns next summer.

I've been talking to Enda Bannon on Skype. It's great catching up with that guy. He's moving to Australia but is talking about visiting the states next Spring. I owe him, oh, about 95,390 drinks. I hope that works out.

Magic Monday at 506 was fucking amazing. Go listen to Cory Branan right now. He played an acoustic set, then Sarah Mann broke out her violin and played with him for several songs. It was one of those really beautiful shows and I was so happy to be a part of it. Thank you, Magic Mike, for continuing to amaze me.

We're playing a wedding this Saturday with an Elvis impersonator. Pictures hopefully soon to follow.

So I went on a date tonight. Dinner and a movie. Funny People and Ethiopian to be exact. With the Comedian (I'll call him that until I get tired of the Watchmen reference or until it gets serious enough to give him a first name).

When I got there, the Comedian had a gift for me: a mixed CD I have yet to listen to, but here's the kicker--instead of a sleeve or a piece of paper, it was enclosed in a Choose Your Own Adventure book. I almost died. It even has notes inside from when he was a kid and he wanted to remember not to make certain decisions. I tried not to totally geek out but I think it was pretty clear to him I was excited about it.

The movie was more of a drama than a comedy, was very funny and touching, and had a real-life ending that I hadn't expected. At one point the Comedian asked to hold my hand, citing the eighth grade, and it was absolutely adorable. Then we got dinner and talked about his early childhood in Saudi Arabia, how strange it is that we're old enough to have friends that are getting married and making copies of themselves, and the parallels and differences between live comedy and live music (I think live comedy has got to be more difficult by a long shot). He was charming and personable and it was very comfortable, as was the first time we met. Online dating for the win.

And then I came home to Chris chilling on the couch with the neighbor girl. I'm so super happy for him. They're so adorable together. It's all I can do not to high-five him in front of her. eeeeee!!

The last week was really busy but awesome. Lincoln Theatre was our best show yet. Chris and Steve drove up from Charleston to play horns with us and it was just so much fun playing with them. The crowd was really into it and they really liked the new songs and the extra something that came with having a brass section. My Mom made it out, along with a bunch of my friends, without whom I'd be pretty much lost. Some of them don't read this, but for those that do, if I don't tell you enough in person how much you mean to me, here it is: You know who you are. You keep me sane and make the world a great place to be alive. And thank you.

This next week is looking to be fairly busy as well, since I'm back at Capital Promotions on a part-time basis, and then Sunday I'll be up in Winston for Cassandra's early birthday party! Hopefully I'll find time to get caught up on writing, sleep, and chores, in that order. :)

A bunch of other people showed up to Trivia - Madison, Vicki, Kelsey, Joseph and about five others - and Team Venture took fourth place! $10 coupon for the Flying Saucer!! When they announced our victory we shouted "GO TEAM VENTURE!!" as loud as we could. I could get used to that.

Also I forgot to mention in the previous post - next week a bunch of us are going to visit Sarah Thiel in New Bern and hang out for a few days. That's going to be super fun. And Cassandra is celebrating her birthday early on August 16th in Winston Salem, so I'm very excited about that party, and being able to celebrate a birthday with my best friend for the first time in four years.

Also I met the second ever person from OkC in real life, a dude we'll call The Comedian. Because it's cool and from Watchmen. And because he used to be a comedian and has hung out with Zach Galifianakis. He was really cool and funny and it was totally comfortable hanging out with him. Will definitely hang out with again.

Good stuff all around.

Is it freaking August already? I mean, I want it to be Fall already, but I feel like the Summer is on one of those moving sidewalks in airports. I'm moving at what feels like a normal speed but the days are just whipping past.

Sarah and Preston got engaged!! :D I'm so happy for both of them. It's fun to be at an age where my friends are all getting married, there's so much to celebrate. Way to go dudes. :)

I think I figured out, finally, the last puzzle piece of my book. My revised goal is to have the first draft done by the fall and have the more-or-less-finished version by January of 2010. It's going to be hard work to get it to that point, but I'm going to try.

In other news, Logan left Capital Promotions with no notice and started up his own screen printing company, and then, like a total douche-bag, emailed all of CP's customers telling them to use him instead. Douche. Bag. Jeff was kind of in a spot, so I told him I'd come back to work a day or two a week until he found someone to replace Logan. It's okay being back there for 10-15 hours a week, but it makes me wonder how I stayed there full time for an entire year. There's just so many mistakes to make and so much to stress about. But at 10 hours a week, I doubt it will raise my blood pressure much. I like Jeff, and I like the design parts of the job. In a lot of ways it's nice to visit there again.

It took me about two hours today to figure out how I'm going to play the different parts of Thriller. It's a great song, of course, but damn, it's seriously complicated. Wild chord progressions, synth horn pops, abrupt changes, C#m7 to Ab7sus4 ...yikes. I can't wait to play it live.

If it stops raining soon Ima go to Trivia at the Flying Saucer. Chris and I go most weeks and despite my grasp of popular culture and his knowledge of science and beer, we are consistently terrible as a team. Oh well. It's still fun to play.

lots of stuff going on lately. i'm either too busy to update or too lazy to do anything other than refresh facebook twenty times in an hour. it's about an even split.

michigan was great. i love those people so much. it's such an oasis of calm in my life when i get to visit there and just be on that island for a few days.

the week of shows was fun. we had thursday off and routing had us in charlotte the next night, so i took the opportunity to spend some time in mooresville with my parents. the band crashed at my dad's house, which by now has turned into a total bachelor pad, and kat and i visited with my mom for awhile. it's still weird getting used to them living in different places. they've both had moments where they slip into a kind of guilt trip mode (dad: "you're going where? who's this 'mom' person?"...mom: "oh, i mean, if you want to spend more time with your father, i understand, he's got the boat and the lake, it's understandable)...and i've had no patience for any of it. they got divorced. i have to divide my time as fairly as i can between them. them's the rules.

got to see american aquarium yesterday for the first time in months. my old friend kevin mcclain is drumming for them now, and it's such a great fit. he's a natural.

great show last night at the raleigh wild wing cafe. that crowd has the coolest energy. i think the whole band was pretty exhausted by that point--we usually are at the end of a week--but it was still a lot of fun.

chris and i got a chance to see jeremy today for, oh, fifteen minutes before he had to catch his plane back to NYC. he was in NC for a wedding and only had a tiny window of time to see anyone. what a cock tease. but still, awesome. still hoping to visit there this fall.

ryan and i broke it off this morning. again. his decision this time instead of mine. mostly it comes down to this: he's got three girls in his life that he has to keep happy. his daughter, his baby mama, and me. and when it comes to priorities, i'm last on the list. again, them's the rules. and his ex...ah, i won't get into it here. putting it lightly, she's not the nicest person, but she's the mother of his child and he's stuck with her if he wants to be involved in his daughter's life. everything was just getting too difficult and i totally understand that he couldn't hang. i still care about him and i think we could definitely be good friends. all in all, i'm glad we gave it another shot and i definitely learned a lot about the dangers of baby mama drama.

also i recently came into possession of a Farfisa Compact Duo organ. it probably needs some repairs. it's just hanging out in my room and i'm looking to sell it. let me know if you're interested.

in other news of suckery my car wouldn't start today. it just clicks, then silence. chris looked at it any my sister's mechanic boyfriend will hopefully be able to check it out. i'm sure it's nothing huge, and it's not like i can't walk most places i'd need to. but shazbot. come on, focus. nice new wax job and a set of tires if you start for me tomorrow, i promise.

since the Aerosmith concert was postponed, Ryan and i stayed in all day and made bread. it was glorious. between he and Chris and i we ate the entire thing in about half an hour. if there's anything better than homemade bread with honey and butter spread over it while it's still warm, then keep it to yourself.

we played Asheville last night. Rob and Alisha came out and Joseph and Chris drove down for the night. it was great being in Asheville again, i forgot how much i liked that town. the Wild Wing there was pretty cool, too. i wish i'd had more time to hang out with everyone. some day soon Chris and i will visit for real, for a few days. i'm hoping to save up enough money to visit New York this fall, too. it's been too long since i've seen the people up that way. also this summer there's a trip to New Bern in the works to see the old roomie, Sarah.

tonight we're playing in Charlotte, so i'm hoping my Dad will be able to come out and see us. then tomorrow, a wedding in Littleton, NC. then to Grosse Ile, Michigan for the annual family reunion there. i couldn't go last year because of the first Design show, so i'm especially excited about this year's trip. i'm so looking forward to fishing, frozen custard at Bob-Joe's, bingo night, shopping, the yearly trip to the movies, swimming at the neighbor's pool, all the dorky awesome things that we do every year and somehow never get too old to get excited about.

also i just bought a pair of shorts for the first time in years. and a cute white and black checkered shirt. it's sooo nice not to be flat broke anymore. next up--some skinny jeans, black flats, four new tires for the old focus, and some music to fill up the iPod. i stopped downloading music for free when our album came out, so as a result, haha, very little new music has come to my attention. but i'm gonna start buying stuff soon. bands i need to listen to, according to everyone--carbon leaf, avett brothers, kings of leon, the new regina spektor ....what else, any suggestions?

the universe has actually been pretty awesome to me, lately, so it's tough to complain. buuuut i'm gonna anyway.

so i finally, after weeks of planning, had three other people confirm that they wanted to go to the Aerosmith concert. there was a deal where you got a significant discount if you bought four at a time ($37 each instead of $53 for lawn tickets). so the moment the final person confirmed i went to buy them and the four-ticket deal had sold out.

so i hit craigslist, looking for a deal, and after several days of contacting every seller i could find, i found one dude who was willing to sell four tickets for $35 each. awesome. i sent him the money on paypal and he emailed me the tickets.

one. hour. later. i find out that Aerosmith has postponed the concert, no dates rescheduled as of yet. i was too late by hours to get legit tickets at a good price, and too soon by an hour to avoid what could be copies of tickets this guy sold and resold to half a dozen people. gaaaaahhhhh.

fortunately the guy who i bought the tickets from on craigslist seems legit and said he'd try and get refunded for his tickets and give me my money back. thank goodness it was paypal and not cash.



this last week was pretty awesome. chris and i picked up Dani and Cassandra at the Atlanta airport and, after a quick Atlanta meal we got some sleep and drove back the next day. one awesome thing about constantly traveling with the band is it makes driving distances like the 7hrs to and from Atlanta seem not that bad. we dropped C and D at her parents' and drove back to Raleigh.

the next day the band played the Windjammer in Charleston, and it was one of my favorite shows ever because not only did Jamie and Lindsay (Quick) come out but Anthony, Cassandra, Dani, Chris, and Lindsay (Reynolds) came down too!!! it was just so much fun to play a beach venue with some of my best friends ever there. happy times. we went night-swimming in the ocean afterwards and it was super dark and i night-body-surfed for the first time. Jamie frolicked past me wearing Cassandra's bathing suit top at one point (easy, now, she had a shirt on) and i almost drowned laughing.  It was just so amazing seeing all of those people again. Love love love.

yada yada yada, show in north charleston, july 4th we played a wedding and i drove to Mooresville afterwards. got to hang out with the Jamisons, a family that's been in our family's life since i was an infant, and some of my favorite people ever. 

today i went wake-skating for the first time. it took me about eleven tries to get up but once i did i stayed up for awhile. it made all the gallons of water that went up my nose during the failed attempts totally worth it. hopefully i'll get more chances to do that this summer. oh, yeah, and Lindsay R. tried and got up on the second try because she's a badass, haha.

tomorrow...well, not Aerosmith, unfortunately, but probably some MST3K and making homemade bread at my apartment. or something equally domestically awesome. i'm seeing Ryan again, of Varisty Theater fame, and he'll be hanging out too, and he's a fan of homemade bread. :D

toothpastefordinner.com

aaaand now it's stuck in my head, too. thanks, tpfd.

on the road in an hour to Atlanta! Hopefully Cassandra and Dani won't be too pooped so we can hit the town afterwards!!

Okay, so June was awesomely busy for the band (a couple of weeks with five shows in a row, some with two shows on one day). It's great but exhausting.

The upcoming weeks are going to be crazy. In a good way.

This last week was one of those five shows in four days kind of weeks. Yesterday, I made cakes with Kat (I made red velvet and Kat made german chocolate) for Joseph and Chris because they wore mustaches for a week. That's a bet where everyone wins.

Today - Promoting our show at the Soapbox (7/18) in Wilmington--putting up postures and whatnot.

Tomorrow - PICKING UP CASSANDRA AND DANI FROM THE ATL AIRPORT. Sweeeet.

7/1 - Drop Cassandra and Dani at her parents', head back to Raleigh

7/2 - The band plays the Windjammer in Charleston.

7/3 - Band in north Charleston

7/4 - Wedding in RTP, driving to Mooresville afterwards

7/5, 7/6 - Hang in Mooresville with the fam, visit with Lindsay who's home from San Francisco for a few days

7/7 - AEROSMITH. Goddamn.

7/8 - Day off. Holy shit. Breathe.

7/9 - Show in Asheville. Finally visiting Rob and Alisha!!

7/10 - Show in Charlotte

7/11 - Wedding in Littleton, NC

7/12 - 7/15 - Visiting family in Michigan

...And then some more shows. Yikes. Happy days.

Saw the Hangover this week. I so adore Zach Galifianakis. I really enjoyed it. Apparently Ed Helms really is missing that tooth. Ha!

Kat, Chris and I went to the Pour House to see a free show, a band called the Constellations. And I spent the. entire. time. lusting after the lead singer. Just flat-out lusting. He had this weird Jack White, Malcolm McDowell look about him, with really danceable, catchy songs that had the feel of both Beck and Eminem.



Second to last song, he jumped out into the crowd and sang four entire bars with his face inches away from mine. Actually, that's too far away. His hair was in my mouth for a second. That's how close he was. Sweaty and writhing on me and sing-whispering lyrics like "Every single love is a murder," the microphone the only thing between his mouth and mine. Smitten kitten doesn't even begin to cover it.

The band was actually a lot of fun to watch too, lots of energy--when I wasn't drooling over the lead singer I was very entertained by the keyboardist (bouncing off the walls) and the three girl back-up singers (wearing matching dresses!).

Of course he has a girlfriend (one of the back-up singers, of course) and lives in Atlanta. But still, I had that Wayne's World Dream Weaver moment. "He will be mine. Oh yes, he will be mine." I mean, it's not in my nature to want a happy relationship to end for my benefit, and I don't see a guy that's taken as a challenge. But...just wow. The phrase animal magnetism was invented for guys like him.

So tonight! We are playing the Visulite Theater in downtown Charlotte! I'm pretty stoked about the show. A few friends should be coming out and my Mom and Grandmother are going to be there. Huzzah.

I went on the first OKC date IRL. OMG. The date went well (Poole's for dinner, Cup a Joe's for coffee afterward) and I enjoyed getting to know the guy. He seemed really nice and we talked about all kinds of things. The dude maaaad reminds me of Chris. I kind of want the two of them to meet and start a bromance.

Linsday is visiting NC soon and in less than two weeks Cassandra and Dani will be home for the summer!! Then in the fall Enda em effin Bannon is moving to New York!! Hells Yes!!